The Joy of Being Selfish with Michelle Elman | #84

The Conjuring Up Courage podcast logo, a photo of Michelle, and the words, "The Joy of Being Selfish with Michelle Elman Episode #84"

Click here to access a written transcript of this episode.

Life coach Michelle Elman is known as the “queen of boundaries” and her new book, The Joy of Being Selfish, can help you ascend to boundary royalty too. Michelle decided to write the book after working hard on her own boundary game and noticing that she wasn't the only one who struggled with catering to everyone else's needs before her own. If people-pleasing is your M.O., our conversation will show you why you need better boundaries and how to start setting them. Because you're worth it, bb!

We discussed:

  • The Scarred Not Scared campaign that led to Michelle's social media “influencer” status.
  • What inspired Michelle to write her new book (and how she wrote the entire thing during the pandemic lockdown).
  • Why Michelle thinks we should reclaim the word “selfish.”
  • How setting boundaries with people is akin to how you let guests behave in your home.
  • Common barriers that keep people from setting better boundaries.
  • The fear of losing people in your life if you start setting boundaries.
  • The benefits of learning to be alone with yourself.
  • How to start setting intentional boundaries.
  • Why you might want to stop justifying it when you say “no.”
  • What else happens in your life when you get really good at boundaries.
  • The problem with not teaching children boundaries from a young age.
  • How trying to be polite usually equates to having poor boundaries.
  • Why being “difficult” doesn't have to be a bad thing.

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Featured in This Episode

Michelle wears a pale green button down shirt. Her brown hair is curled and she smiles for the camera wearing red lipstick with one hand in her hair. A long tendril of a plant can be seen behind her.

Michelle Elman (she/her) is a five-board accredited life coach, award-winning activist, author, and podcaster. In 2020, she was named one of the Top 50 most inspirational women in the UK and is respected globally for her work as a body positivity influencer, best known for her Scarred Not Scared campaign. Michelle's first book, Am I Ugly?, was published in 2018, and her second book, The Joy of Being Selfish, is out now. You can keep up with Michelle on her website, Twitter, and Instagram, and listen to her podcast, In All Honesty.

Did you benefit from this episode? You can show your appreciation by supporting Michelle's work.Be sure to snag a copy of Michelle's new book, The Joy of Being Selfish.

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I’m a self-trust coach, writer, and podcast host with a mission to help people figure out who they are and what they value so they can come home to themselves.


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