Perfectionism is something I have struggled with since I was a little girl. From the pressures of parents with high expectations to the competitive settings of music school and law school, I am no stranger to the harms of a perfectionist nature.
Whether you’re a perfectionist yourself or you have people in your life who are struggling, it can be helpful to understand more about the motivations behind perfectionism. That’s why I break down five specific ways that perfectionism can steal your joy, including:
- Perfectionism causes you to internalize and moralize the perfectionist world view.
- It’s easy to convince yourself that the only person your perfectionism is harming or hindering is yourself, but that’s not true.
- Perfectionism creates an all or nothing, black and white mentality that doesn’t reflect the real world.
- While perfectionism can feel like it’s mostly about how you view yourself, it’s actually fueled by a fear of how other people view you.
- Perfectionism will lead you to believe that you have to do everything by yourself.
For each of these five harms, I provide tools and strategies for letting go of your perfectionist tendencies. The key is to remind ourselves that mistakes aren’t necessarily a reflection of the kinds of people we are inside. To be human is to be imperfect, and that doesn’t make us less worthy of love or respect.
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Health problems associated with perfectionism
- Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
- Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison
- White Supremacy Culture workbook excerpt by Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun
- What Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is and how it works
- List of possible books to use for self-guided Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
- Kristin Neff’s website which includes self-compassion exercises
- Satisfied from Hamilton
- This is Fine meme
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
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Featured on this Episode:
Shohreh Davoodi, the host of the Redefining Health & Wellness podcast, is a weight-inclusive wellness coach located in Austin, Texas. She is certified in intuitive eating and personal training and helps clients improve their relationships with exercise, food, and their bodies. You can work with Shohreh online from anywhere in the world. Find her on her website, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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