Pleasure, Masturbation, and Ethical Porn with Jamie J. LeClaire | #29

The Conjuring Up Courage logo, a photo of Jamie, and the words, "Pleasure, Maturbation, and Ethical Porn with Jamie J. LeClaire Episode #29"

Click here to access a written transcript of this episode.

CW: Some discussion of Jamie's eating disorder

Let's face it—sex education in America mostly sucks and is often shame-based, leaving this country's citizens uneducated about a very important topic. Wouldn't it be nice if you had a sex educator at your fingertips to answer all your burning and potentially embarrassing questions about sex and pleasure?

I invited sex educator, freelance writer, and consultant Jamie J. LeClaire on the podcast to have an open and honest conversation about all kinds of sexy stuff. We chatted about pleasure, sexual boundaries, masturbation, sex toys, ethical porn. and even butt stuff (yep, we went there). You may blush while you're listening, but I bet you'll learn at least one helpful thing as well.

We discussed:

  • The path Jamie has taken to become a sex educator, including currently working on a master's degree in human sexuality.
  • How society teaches us that we're not deserving of pleasure across many different contexts.
  • Setting boundaries to get the pleasure you need out of partnerships.
  • The amazing sexual resource that is “Yes/No/Maybe” lists.
  • The ability to track your orgasms and other sexual data to learn more about yourself and your preferences.
  • Following sex-positive accounts, podcasts, etc. to help you work through sexual shame, as well as doing your research to understand how normal it is.
  • The myth that once you're in a relationship you shouldn't be masturbating anymore.
  • Some of Jamie's favorite sex toys and sex toy companies.
  • How to care for your sex toys and keep them in good shape.
  • Which kinds of lube to use.
  • How to get started safely with anal play if you're interested in it.
  • What ethical porn consumption looks like, including paying for your porn.
  • How audio erotica is an option for those who don't necessarily like watching porn.
  • How Jamie defines health and wellness for themself at this moment in their life, which for them means unlearning old health and wellness meanings to learn new ones.

Mentioned in This Episode

Featured in This Episode

Jamie looks at the camera with a closed-lipped smile. Their hair is very short, and they are resting their head on the knuckles of one hand

Jamie J. LeClaire (they/he) is a sex educator, freelance writer, and consultant whose work explores the intersections of sexual health and pleasure, intimacy and relationships, queer and trans identities, body politics, chronic illness, and more. They are passionate about guiding people toward informed, liberated and embodied experiences and understanding of sexuality and gender, and creating space and opportunity for greater social change. You can find Jamie on their website, Instagram, and Twitter.

Share the love!  

Subscribe to

The Queer Agenda

The Queer Agenda is a newsletter dedicated to uplifting LGBTQIA+ folks (where our accomplices benefit too) by sharing thoughtful tools, strategies, advice, and encouragement to help us heal and come home to ourselves. It’s equal parts warm hug, gentle kick in the ass, and queer magic.