Rape Culture, Rejection, and Consent with Sharon Hoefer | #27

Click here to access a written transcript of this episode.

CW: Discussion of interpersonal violence, sexual assault, and rape culture

We live in a society that both normalizes and trivializes sexual assault and abuse. The system is designed to make it harrowing for victims to come forward, frequently blaming individuals for the attacks on them and refusing to punish perpetrators.

Sharon Hoefer works with college students to help create a culture of care and consent and stop rape culture in its tracks. She teaches students the hallmarks of healthy relationships and helps them learn to deal with rejection and communicate more effectively.

It's work like Sharon's that gives me hope for the future. The world needs fewer #MeToo stories and having conversations like these is one of the paths to getting there.

We discussed:

• How Sharon came to do work with college students creating campus communities that value consent and healthy relationships.
• What rape culture is and the factors that contribute to it.
• How we can stop interpersonal violence at different levels of society and through different age groups.
• The problematic nature of risk-reduction strategies vs primary prevention strategies.
• How to create a culture of care, rather than a rape culture like we're currently living in.
• Interesting things Sharon is noticing about the current dating culture for college students.
• Learning to deal with and dole out rejection in a healthy way.
• The phenomenon of “ghosting” in relationships (and the sometimes very valid reasons for doing so).
• The role of boundary-setting in healthy relationships and life in general.
• What consent is and why it's so important (and needs to be ongoing).
• How learning about consent should start in childhood.
• The role alcohol plays in consent.
• Cornerstones of healthy relationships, including equality and respect.
• How Sharon defines health and wellness for herself at this moment in her life, including the strength of her community and working on being kind to herself.

Mentioned in This Episode

• Purity Culture and Sexual Health with Erica Smith | #5
• The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
• The MTV show Ghosted
• An example of a “Power and Control Wheel” can be found here (under the “What is Power and Control?” question)
• An example of an Equality Wheel can be found here

Featured in This Episode

Sharon Hoefer (she/her) works with college students to create campus communities that value consent and healthy relationships. She has previously worked in interpersonal violence research, as well as directly with survivors as a case manager and support group facilitator. If you're interested in contacting Sharon, you can do so through her personal Instagram.